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Post by christian merry on Sept 24, 2003 17:23:21 GMT -5
TEXT My band is ACTS MAGDALENA, I'd like to hear about your bands too and how you deal with the stuff you feel being a woman in music. Especially you of a harder nature and what you do about people thinking because you blow the male metal voice away but have to hear "you use effects" or "are you a guy" or other petty stuff every night. Can you wear a gown and still be a "girl" and still be feminine and sing with a "girl's" voice that just happens to make people think you are Rob Zombie's evil step-sister? Yes... and any other incarnation you choose to show with your personality and clothing. The HARD voice is a women's voice too.  oh no, mini rant starting- AND do you head a band with only guys in it and everyone assumes they do all the writing and you just dance around and do as you are told? okay I'll stop for the moment but I'd like to hear what you think, how you deal with it.. I am actually doing just fine (thanks), but I still like to know what others do and think.. in case there is a cool thing I might have missed and can use as ammo  when the next fool comes up and tries to find the cord leading to the effects box or tries to "jokingly" lift my gown...
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Post by carlita on Sept 24, 2003 19:40:41 GMT -5
Hey Christian!! WELCOME!!!! I certainly feel your pain, sistah!! I started ROCKRGRL because I was soooo sick of what you describe. WHY is it still such a big deal to hear women sing hard-edged music? I'm as stumped as you are I'm afraid. But that's why ROCKRGRL exists - to talk about these kinda issues. For years people used to ask my all-female band if we were LIP-SYNCHING!!! Sure - we were just standing onstage with our instruments and mouthing the words. It's really insane that people still have this idea that "chicks can't play" which is why we have to all work together to find solutions and help people GET OVER IT once and for all. It's also REALLY important for us to not pit ourselves against other women - even Britney. The more we allow ourselves to fight amongst ourselves and not be supportive of other artists the longer we are doomed. I know I am asking a lot....but I always do!  Thanks! BTW - where are you based?? xoxoxo Carla |
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Post by christian merry on Sept 25, 2003 0:00:27 GMT -5
I am based in New York City (East Village) . Yeah the internal female attacking is too common, thing is there are only so many "places" sometimes and they start at each other. When one label signs a band, you know they'll pull a thing Joan Jett ranted about, on the rest of the bands out there and say "Hey we already have our GIRL (led or all) band" So it gets very fierce feeling. In the end, if you aren't doing music for your soul, then you'll always have trouble, but yeah its always like a fight to the death for those few spots. Then you see the ones who get signed still get depressed and struggle because even under the umbrella of a label and all its money you STILL face prejudice. Some women feel like they are fighting alone because its not like "we'll sign more bands" its "if you don't tow the line BABE you'll be replaced". I can't go on more about this at this hour- its really not so late here but I have been up for 2 days straight so if this message is actually incoherent, even though it makes sense to me, just ignore it. I think we need another smiley face with some kind of sleepy face this one is half asleep.. |
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Rousian
Junior Member
'Love is the Arrow!!'
Posts: 35
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Post by Rousian on Sept 25, 2003 2:36:09 GMT -5
Hi ,
Great subject, which leads me to reply to both Christian & Carla. 1st to Carla: Its very hard not to 'pit ourselves against other women' Believe me, I so want to not keep doing that, but when 'they' or 'some' make us all look bad but doing ridiculous things in public, it just makes the 'non-believers' [like the dork who posted the 'Women can't play' stupidity on the Guitars forum] go on thinking that we really don't have any substance & shouldn't be doing anything else but staying in the kitchen.
So [for both of you!] this is why I always & will forever state that the most powerful weapon in the world against all these stereotypes about us ladys is an INSTRUMENT!!! No matter what you say or what you do or even how you look, if you have something in your hands no one will give you any crap!
I would now love to ask the singers,
especially Christian, if you play an instrument & if you don't, Why??
I guarantee you just maybe, you will never have the aforementioned problems that you stated in your above 'breaking in' post if you had something in your hand other than a microphone. Its a very powerful statement & the greatest thing is that you don't have to say a word!! That's a wonderful feeling, I know this from personal experience!!!
I'm not trying to put down you any singer at all [except the massive bad ones who just shouldn't sing!] I'd just like to emphasize that playing an instrument does make one hell of a difference!! I know it!
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Rousian
Junior Member
'Love is the Arrow!!'
Posts: 35
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Post by Rousian on Sept 25, 2003 2:38:06 GMT -5
BTW- I'm in NY too!!
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Post by christian merry on Sept 25, 2003 4:47:32 GMT -5
I believe I sing as well as any world class instrumentalist. I understand your point, but I use my voice as much as any person with an instrument. I think plenty of men get taken seriously without an instrument in their hand and some just seem foolish if all those guys do is strum (ex: I respect Bono but please the man can't play and anytime he has a guitar on its an accessory) Some people are blessed one way, others another. I think if anyone sees me perform and thinks I need to play something to be taken seriously would have trouble with me no matter what I did and thats not important to me. I love my voice and what I can do with it, one of the few things about myself I won't put down. I work just as hard and its a very muscular process for me too. If you listen to me talk I don't sound like sandpaper, I don't sound like a "guy"- what I do does not hurt my vocal chords because it takes care and power to do it right and I know what I put into it and see no need to strap anything on to be doing as much on stage as any band member. Do I have a thing against instruments? No, I have EB (www.dEBra.org) in the simplest form which means it just ruined my life in a simple way and I'm lucky. I used to play violin as a child and early teen but the bleeding never stopped and the pain could not be stopped without heavy drug use. So if things were different I might have an instrument, but that would be a choice made for music nothing else. I hope you don't think I am insulting your opinion, its one I have heard before, but one I personally do not agree with. There may be lame looking and sounding singers who need something to look like they are doing something useful onstage but I have seen that in both the male and female species. |
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Post by carlita on Sept 25, 2003 8:40:34 GMT -5
Roz:
I do understand your frustration but the only person anyone can make "look bad" is themselves. Britney and Christina are far from my favorites but they are entitled to do what they do. We're not gonna stop them. So the way to set an example is to BE an example and encourage the women and girls you encounter.
Bonnie Raitt has a program (which may not still be going) that offers free or subsidized guitar lessons to underpriviledged girls through the Boys & Girls clubs. A friend of mine here in Seattle has taught MANY girls guitar through this program and the result is that a LOT more girls playing here in Seattle. In fact, the local paper did a story on that very subject about a month ago (do a Seattle Times search on Amy Stolzenbach to find it).
Amy & I also host an event called GRL JAM - where we teach girls some simple songs and get 'em on stage to play in a very supportive environment - we are doing one of those here on October 5th.
I understand your frustration, but the overexposed artists are not going to go away until the industry thinks they can't milk any more money out of them. That doesn't mean WE can't make a difference. But we have to work together and fight the real enemy -- sexism, not other women.
Just FYI, I am devoting the next issue of ROCKRGRL to vocalists because I think they have a lot to say AND they get stereotyped against in some ways, too.
Big love,
Carla
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Post by christian merry on Sept 25, 2003 16:38:42 GMT -5
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Post by carlita on Sept 25, 2003 19:15:21 GMT -5
Yup - I was the first keynote speaker their first year and attended the second year, too. It's a great program.
;D
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Rousian
Junior Member
'Love is the Arrow!!'
Posts: 35
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Post by Rousian on Sept 26, 2003 0:24:35 GMT -5
Hi , thank for the replys, I don't men to put anyone down. I understand completely & I hope I didn't offend
anyone who simply can't play an instrument because of an illness or other ailment. I never wanted to do that, I apologize. I know someone who has CP who is just an amazing keyboardist. So I know that feeling too. I've broken my arms & hands so many times & thought I would never play again & somehow I've come though all the madness, as well.
I know there ARE some great singers out there, we just need them to make great music & not try to be trashy! I wish you all the best Christian, I'm completely sure you kick ass!!.Just keep it on your own terms!!
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Post by carlita on Sept 26, 2003 10:00:48 GMT -5
Grooming the next guitar goddesses By Cara Solomon Seattle Times Eastside bureau Treasure Connors has it all worked out. It's simple, really, why so few girls play guitar. "It's kind of like soccer or skateboarding," said Treasure, an 11-year-old from South Seattle. "People just think it's a guy thing." Women in the music business have been trying to change all that, giving guitars and amps, free lessons and live performances. The Ground Zero Teen Center in Bellevue has been the beneficiary of it for years now. It started off several years ago with singer/guitarist Bonnie Raitt, guitar maker Fender and a national campaign to get more girls playing guitar. For Ground Zero, which got funding and 13 guitars, the program has been the gift that keeps on giving, providing guitar workshops for Treasure and more than 100 other girls through the years. In total, the Raitt program gave about 1,400 guitars to Boys and Girls Clubs of America across the nation, making only two demands: Let the girls play, and let them play for free. A few months ago, Ann and Nancy Wilson of the rock group Heart continued that legacy with a $1,000 rock scholarship through Ground Zero earmarked for girls. The money will go toward private lessons for graduates of the guitar workshop who want to continue with their study. Amy Stolzenbach, who teaches the Raitt workshops, said she sees the all-girl classes as a confidence builder. The girls feel more freedom to make mistakes around each other. She tried adding boys to one workshop, with poor results. "It completely changed the chemistry," said Stolzenbach, who plays with Carrie Akre and the band Glorious. "They asked all the questions, they played the loudest, they played the most." Beyond the guitar workshop, Ground Zero gears other music activities toward girls. Every few months, the center sponsors a "Girl Jam" with musicians and rock journalists from across Puget Sound. The musicians set up shop in the center, craft a song, teach it to the girls and perform it. The idea, said music director Amy Mahardy, is to inspire girls who want to make music. "It can be really intimidating if you're a girl and all you see in the media are dudes on MTV rocking out," said Mahardy, a singer/songwriter. Beyond all the technical skills of guitar playing, Stolzenbach teaches the girls how to talk rock. Music shops can be intimidating, she said — all those men milling around, some convinced you don't know what you want. Stolzenbach teaches them the lingo, gives them the confidence to ask for what they need. On Wednesday afternoon, Treasure is the only girl to show up for the weekly workshop. Playing the guitar is a luxury for her — like letting go of everything else, she said. It feels like freedom, playing around with all those notes, making them sound "mangled" or "soft." Every week, she finds chords she didn't know about before, writes them in her notebook, tries to fit them together. Soon enough, she will have a song. For now, she shows Stolzenbach the new chords she has found, picking away at the black electric guitar. "Nice — I like all those," said Stolzenbach. "It's cool that you heard that and ventured outside of what you knew." Cara Solomon: 206-464-2024 or csolomon@seattletimes.com Copyright © 2003 The Seattle Times Company More information: • On the guitar workshops or any other music programs at Ground Zero, call 425-452-6118 or email: gzmusic@hotmail.com • On girls and women in music, check out these Web sites: www.rockrgrl.com and www.indiegrrl.com |
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Post by Esmirelda on Oct 14, 2003 9:28:37 GMT -5
Hi Everyone!, I have a Rock band. We do all original music. We 2 men and 2 women in our ensamble. I think its nutty when we're loading in the equipment (I help carry ther big amps in my dresses...) ; someone asks which of my guy bandmates is my boyfriend. The look on their face when I get on stage is priceless. Esmirelda www.MeetTheTidbits.com |
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Post by konzertmeister on Oct 23, 2003 22:48:19 GMT -5
Hi Christain Merry. Very good questions. I've wondered these things myself. How do other gals cope?
In my experience, I have found that the best way for me to be in those situations is to just not answer back. Just go out there and be d**n good. There will always be those jerks and jerkers too small to see. I've found that the fastest way to shut them up is to go out there and just be too d**n good. This has never failed me. In high school pep band, I played bass and the kids across the gym laughed at me because I was so small and played such a huge bass. Until I blew them out the doors with my sax player at timeouts and halftime. When I took a blues workshop at the college, the instructor (Curley Cook of Steve Miller Band fame) asked us the second week, who could play the lick from the previous week. The guys who failed miserably piqued my confidence and I stepped up, and nailed it. It was so amazing that he asked me to play it again, so he could accompany and demonstrate. Funny tho... at first none of them would even look at me. By the of the workshop I had more jam offers than I could possibly deal with - or want to. At the gig with my last band (all guys except me) the hipster sound man ignored me when we were introduced. I knew he was thinking "chick in the band..." and I thought, "Oh well." But by the time I was belting out the third tune, he was mixing with my friends, talking with my mom, and couldn't stop adjusting my gear, mics, etc. He wanted to know who I was, how long, and plans for the future. As if!!! But my point, dear little soul, is to never let it shake your focus. It's about the music. Let that be your focus. If they don't get it, they aren't meant to. The thing that music has given me can't be stirred by anyone.
I remember the isolation I felt in those early, younger days, and want to contribute to music by giving to other gals who are just starting out. By sharing, teaching and encouraging. ANd I never $harge. Because I would have given anything for lessons when I was a teenager, but none of the guys at the music store wanted to deal with a "girl." Too bad for them!! Anyway, that has been my experience. But my spiritual advice to you, and others, is... stay away from those posers at Guitar Center enter enter nter ter er er!!! My $3500 Paul Reed Smith was almost destroyed by some chump at the door thinking he was Flash Gordon of fret buzz, or something. No only did they have to GIVE me new parts, which probably cost his six months wages, I got a new Schecter for cost. And it rox! Whew, Bebe! Now go, and use your powers for good instead of evil.
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Post by carlita on Oct 24, 2003 0:38:41 GMT -5
Konzertmeister, you rock my world!!!!!!
xoxoxo
Carla
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Post by konzertmeister on Oct 25, 2003 2:05:28 GMT -5
Hi , Great subject, which leads me to reply to both Christian & Carla. 1st to Carla: Its very hard not to 'pit ourselves against other women' Believe me, I so want to not keep doing that, but when 'they' or 'some' make us all look bad but doing ridiculous things in public, it just makes the 'non-believers' [like the dork who posted the 'Women can't play' stupidity on the Guitars forum] go on thinking that we really don't have any substance & shouldn't be doing anything else but staying in the kitchen. So [for both of you!] this is why I always & will forever state that the most powerful weapon in the world against all these stereotypes about us ladys is an INSTRUMENT!!! No matter what you say or what you do or even how you look, if you have something in your hands no one will give you any crap! I would now love to ask the singers, especially Christian, if you play an instrument & if you don't, Why?? I guarantee you just maybe, you will never have the aforementioned problems that you stated in your above 'breaking in' post if you had something in your hand other than a microphone. Its a very powerful statement & the greatest thing is that you don't have to say a word!! That's a wonderful feeling, I know this from personal experience!!! I'm not trying to put down you any singer at all [except the massive bad ones who just shouldn't sing!] I'd just like to emphasize that playing an instrument does make one hell of a difference!! I know it! Hi Rousian. I think I get your point on the instrument thing. I do have to say that I have the utmost respect for singers whose voice is their only instrument, or "women who belt" as I like to call them. You know, the ones who do not necessarily play an instrument, or at least not on stage or in their formal musical performance setting. The message I'm getting from you is for women to be all they can be - and I agree with you on that. And I can also understand your being ruffled by women who sing like wounded cats, just to sound catty. It is neither a possitive nor pretty thing if that is ALL they can do. But on Christian Merry's side of the court... frontwomen vocalists who don't wield an axe of any kind (I'm thinking Etta James, Ann Wilson, Annie Lennox, Patsy Cline) are just as much forces to be reckoned with as any Stevie Ray Vaughn or Jimmy Page - because neither of those two can sing, as far as I'm concerned. And Robert Plant never played anything but his own pipes. But I do see your point in that very double standard, where women have to BE twice as much to be THOUGHT half as good. I for one have been a threat to far more men with my guitar, than with my voice... and I don't consider myself a real guitar player, but I learned to sing by matching Ann Wilson's every note on Dreamboat Annie when I was 8. It is my perception that there seem to be more women singers because that is where our society "allows" women to be, moreso than behind a guitar or a drum set. Men are comfortable with that. Most of the men walking around on the planet today grew up with the idea of the chanteuse. It's safe, and comfortable for them to see a female fronted band, if all she does is sing or roll around on top of a piano. REVOLUTION NOW!! |
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when the next fool comes up and tries to find the cord leading to the effects box or tries to "jokingly" lift my gown...
